Love in the Time of Corona

My husband and I are true soul mates--well, as soul-mated as you get after 18 years of discovering your differences.  We love each other a lot, even though I don't properly screw lids on things and throw away important documents and he leaves forks lying upside down on the kitchen counter for dubious later use and never throws anything away, including trash, except under duress.

We agree on all the important stuff--politics (no Trump), religion (ditto), parenting (minimal), leisure (nothing that requires logistics), possible retirement locations (somewhere cheaper and less humid), music (nothing recorded after 1995), food (aspirationally healthy).

But the one thing that divides us more than anything else is GERMS.

My view on germs: They had ample time to kill me while I was playing in the dirt in Africa, brushing my teeth with non-potable water, and sharing literally everything EVERYTHING with 20 other girls in a dorm for seven years.  And the germs chose not to take me out, or else they were unable to do so.  Now I did have some bouts of dysentery and malaria and a very aggressive toe parasite, but honestly, I'm not impressed.  So unless we are talking a hemorrhagic fever that dissolves your internal organs, there ain't much out there that scares me. I observe some basic hygienic protocol, mainly to make Americans feel better, but generally, I wallow in germs and apart from a cold every now and then, I rarely get sick. Neither do my kids. It's called building immunity, look into it, my feeble countrymen!

Kevin's approach to germs--and I'm going to be very diplomatic and respectful here, otherwise he'll hack into my blog and delete this--is more cautious.

And, actually, that's all I'm going to be allowed to say about that.


So, what's a couple to do when a global pandemic hits? This is my process:
1) Scan the news. How many people are dying, how old and sick are they, did they survive an African childhood?
2) I'll be fine.
3) I guess I should also worry about my kids.
4) I look into a bit further. Kids aren't getting that sick. Mine will be fine.
5) I guess I should worry about other people. I'll wash my hands a bit more often.
6) I move on with my life. I am not God and nobody's asked me to be.
7) Dammit ,now that "My Sharona" song is in my head again.

His process is...more involved.

And that's all I'm going to be allowed to say about that.


So, post editing, this is going to be a short post.  Bottom line is, between my killer immune system and my husband's boy scout training, we are so not going to die of corona virus.  Nor are we going to need to buy peanut butter or paper towels until the year 2023.

I may get quarantined in our backyard though.  That's fine, I won't have to cook dinner for anyone.


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