Skip to main content

Posts

Featured

What Am I Supposed to Do With This?

I remember when I discovered my mother was hoarding human teeth in her jewelry box.  I went in there to rifle through her valuables to see what I could pawn for drugs.  Just kidding, I liked to try stuff on.  That was before I had two kids and a job and no time in in the morning to accessorize.  Anyway, I opened one of the little drawers looking for rings, and there they were, a whole pile of teeth.  Whose teeth were they? Was my mother pulling out all her teeth? Were they just spontaneously falling out? Is that what happened when you got old?  Or--Was she a serial killer and those were her trophies?  Was she digging up dead people and stealing their teeth? Or, even worse--were those MY teeth and WAS THERE NO TOOTH FAIRY?! Dear God, please let my mother be a serial killer.  
You know what is even more disturbing? She still has those teeth in her jewelry box.  She's not a typical hoarder either, and she's not terribly sentimental.  She has very little of my childhood memorabil…

Latest Posts

The Kid Food Critics' Review of Mom's Cooking

SPOILER ALERT: I need to work on my parenting

The World's Worst OBs

The Kenya Trip Top 10

A Pilgrimage to the Holly Land

Why Couldn't We Ride

The Hills Are Alive, and They Are Taunting Me

People continue to find ways to make parenting harder

As we work our way through the 10 Egyptian plagues...

Lice Lice Baby