I am rocking this homeschooling thing

Homeschooling is never something I have ever ever understood.  Unless you live in a war zone or an environment where people openly sell drugs on the corner, I don't know why anyone would homeschool. (I'm joking, of course I know there are many cases where kids need to be homeschooled for various reasons).  I know some people who are really good at it, though, and their kids may be getting a better education than they would be otherwise. However, as a former college professor at a religious school where I had a lot of homeschooled students...That's all I'll say about that, because I am a nice person.

Now my kids are home from school for a month, and I'm told all the good parents will be keeping their kids on some kind of schedule to include school work.  There's all sorts of "helpful," color-coded sample schedules floating around Pinterest.  To which I laugh and say, Who ever said I was a good parent?  You are hysterically funny if you think there is any universe or reality in which I am looking at a clock and saying to myself, "It's 2 pm, and that means we are now in the Purple Block=arts and crafts."


I may not color-code my time, but so far, homeschooling is going just great. My kids woke up around 9 and started watching TV and playing video games. I went out running and then to help a neighbor in need (See, I may be a horrible mother but I am a GOOD neighbor so there).  I told them before I left that they needed to "take a break" and do some school work.  And guess what, when I got back, they had done all their lessons for the day plus a bunch of chores!  Wow!

And if you believe that, I have a cure for coronavirus to sell you for the very low price of $99.99!


Of course they were still parked on couches doing their electronic things. I asked them if they had taken a break. No, they said. Do you homework!!! I said.

And that's pretty much my homeschooling method.  On the hour (because schedules are so important during this difficult time), I yell Take a break! Do you homework! And then I read my book or work on various writing projects.

So actually, this homeschooling thing is super easy. I see why some of y'all have been doing it for years.  No one even has to change out of their PJs AND there is no paperwork or lists of things I have to send into school.  I feel I am particularly good at it, too, since I have a very loud "teaching voice" and can do my hourly reminders from where ever I happen to be in my home.  I sound extremely commanding, and my students are highly motivated by it.

Oh, look, it's 2 pm and you know what that means? Not a damn thing of any color.


Popular Posts